Arrogant

 Last night, as the bars in West County were closing, I received a ride request from a little hole-in-the-wall bar on Manchester Road in Ballwin. Upon my arrival, a drunk 20-something non-ironically wearing a Hawaiian shirt staggered out.

"Do you have a mask?" I asked him.

Of course he didn't, so I gave him a disposable mask.

He half-heartedly apologized for not having a mask with him, and thanked me for being so prepared. He then explained that he lives in Kansas City, and no one is wearing masks there, nor have they for many months. 

Okay, cool story bro.

He also mentioned that he is an Uber driver in Kansas City, and started bragging about how much money he makes.

"Oh man, we make $50, $55 an hour, easy," he said. "It's insane - and so simple."

"How long have you been driving?" I asked him.

"Well, uh, I started doing Uber just like a month ago," he said, "and then I totaled my car - not during an Uber trip or anything. Just by myself. And I bought a new car while I was in town this weekend visiting my parents for the 4th."

"I see," I said. 

"Yeah, it's so much better driving for Uber in Kansas City than it is here," he said.

"Have you been an Uber driver in St. Louis?" I asked.

"Well... no... I just figure it's better because we make so much more money than you guys."

"How do you know you make more money than us?" I asked. "If you've never driven here, you really don't have any way of knowing, do you?"

I went on to explain that I, too, was making $50, $55, and sometimes even $65 or $70 per hour during the past few months as bars and restaurants reopened and restrictions were lifted. I also explained that  there's a suspicion that the Uber algorithms give new drivers - like him - a lot more fares their first few weeks to hook them in. 

"How long have you been working for Uber?" he asked, showing that he doesn't know the first thing about this business.

"I don't work for Uber," I said. "I don't work for Lyft, either. I work for myself. Uber and Lyft are, in a way, my business partners... but more accurately, they provide the software I use to make money. The same goes for every driver on every platform - Uber, Lyft, Doordash, Postmates, Grubhub, etc. - you work for yourself."

Side note: Pedantic? Sure. But in my opinion, it's an important distinction, and putting yourself in that mindset also helps you position yourself, mentally, for an existence in which you are constantly looking out for your own interests, especially when your business partners change the rules. Unless compelled to do so by an external force, no rule change will ever benefit the driver more than it benefits the company. But I digress...

"Oh, okay, whatever," he said, "so how long have you been driving?"

I told him I started in 2015 and let him do the math. 

"Wow, that's a long time," he said. 

"Yes," I said. "It is. So if you have any questions you want to ask someone who has been doing this a very long time, now's your chance."

I was kind of kidding, but he took me up on it. We discussed the importance of tracking mileage and expenses, staying on top of vehicle maintenance - especially oil changes and tire rotations, and how a can of Scotchgard can be an excellent investment. 

He then asked about the plexiglass partition I have between my front and back seats.

I explained that Uber sent it to me about a year ago. It's a sneeze guard, but it also provides a physical barrier between my passengers and me, so I plan to keep it up as long as I'm driving. 

"Oh, nah, I don't need one of those," said the rookie driver from Kansas City. "All the people I drive are cool."

I explained that a lot of passengers like the partition as well - it provides a sort of separation for them from the driver in an already-cramped space. I like it because I don't like to be touched by strangers. Especially drunk ones who insist on patting my back or touching my shoulder. Just because I'm a big guy, that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to dislike unwanted physical contact. 

I also explained that I take nearly every ride request. I don't discriminate based on pickup or drop-off location. If someone in a bad neighborhood needs a ride at 2 a.m., I'm going to pick them up. I'll keep my head on a swivel, and if something doesn't feel right, I'm outta there, but I'm going to pick them up.

My passenger scoffed. 

"Man, if I drove here, and I got any request from north county or north city or anywhere like that, any time of day," he said, "I'd turn it down. No questions asked. I'm not going up there. I'm not driving those people."

Those people.

"I don't have to worry about that in Kansas City," he said. "All the land in the city is getting bought up and developed, and all the people who used to live there and commit crimes and stuff are getting pushed out farther away from the city, and they're taking their crime with them. They can't afford to live in Kansas City anymore though, so it's not KC's problem."

He went on to explain that that's what St. Louis should do. "They" - whoever he thinks "they" refers to - should just buy up all the land in the city, proper, and develop it, so only wealthy young people can afford to live there, displacing lower income families, many of whom have been there for generations, but because of generational systemic racism, have been unable to build generational wealth.

I didn't have time to explain how cruel and asinine this proposal was, though, because as we reached that point, we pulled up to his parents' house - a $700k McMansion in Wildwood. 

Maybe we should take up this proposal. Maybe then all the "criminals" can move out to the exurbs where this guy's parents moved, likely to escape the indignity of living in the city. Then we'll see who makes the next move.

After all, everyone has to live somewhere.