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There are certain groups who come to St. Louis on a somewhat-regular basis for conferences, events, etc., and as tends to be the case with groups, they need rides. 

This past weekend was the second time in my career as a rideshare driver that St. Louis hosted the Olympic Gymnastics Trials. I looked forward to this weekend because the last time these folks were here, they were nothing short of wonderful. And, despite being delayed a year due to COVID, this weekend was no exception. I hope they come back again and again, long after I'm done driving. My experience with these staff, officials, probably the occasional athlete (though no one I recognized), and their legions of fans has been positive enough to restore my faith in humanity. 

Team USA Gymnastics fans are patient, kind, friendly, and those who are visiting from out of town are always eager to hear a local's opinion on the good places to visit, whether for a meal or just an afternoon or evening out.

They also tip well. Really, really well.

Other repeat groups I love to see in St. Louis:

• Spectators or participants of any amateur sports tournament, up to and including the NCAA. While all the sports fans and families tend to be very friendly, the NCAA spectators are also the most generous tippers, which makes sense, since they are paying to travel around the country watching NCAA sports.
• Each March, there's a big haunted house trade show that happens at America's Center. The TransWorld Halloween & Attractions Show draws a large number of people from all over the country, maybe even the world, to St. Louis, and has been for over a decade. It's where haunted house operators get to meet up with the people who make special effects stuff and other neat and scary things. And, you may be thinking "why is this in March?" It's because that's when the haunted house operators are planning for the fall. The people who attend this show LOVE to get out and explore St. Louis, especially at night, and especially in ways that require a designated driver. They are the weirdest people I've ever met, in the absolute best way possible. They're also just a lot of fun to be around, even for a five minute ride. I look forward to seeing all the spooky folk roaming around downtown each spring.
• Not really a group, but I also love driving students to the airport when the dorms close for breaks or for the summer. The students are always very happy to go back home, wherever home may be. Sure, they may be exhausted, and they might have half a day of flights and layovers ahead of them, but at least they're done with that organic chemistry final, and they can go a month or more without risking a sober run-in with a regrettable drunken hookup.

Of course, it goes without saying that the good cannot exist without the bad. That being said, here are the groups I'd rather not deal with, ever again:

• People in town for any sort of multi-level marketing "conference." These #bossbabes have a tendency to either try to recruit me into their pyramid scheme, or they give me low ratings on a perfectly fine ride to try to get Uber or Lyft to give it to them for free (because they don't actually make any money selling cosmetics/vitamins/cleaning products/etc. and can't afford the $18 ride back downtown from dinner at Stacked, where they definitely split one burger and fries four ways before stiffing the server on her tip.) 
• People attending any religious event or conference. They absolutely will never tip you. Ever. And many will have a holier-than-thou attitude (pun not intended, but I see the irony) because you have the audacity to be out driving on a Sunday morning instead of worshiping somewhere... even though they're the ones who called you. You'll know them by their large hats and larger senses of entitlement. 
• Mardi Gras revelers. They're almost not worth it, honestly. No, really - if you're dropping them off, you'll get stuck in traffic trying to leave. If you're picking them up, you'll spend 20 minutes trying to blindly direct a drunk girl who lost the ability to read street signs through a densely-packed crowd to the only place you could safely stop, which happens to be six blocks away. And when she gets there, she'll be angry that you couldn't just drive to where she was, because she saw a car on the street, and she doesn't understand that the car she saw either belonged to someone who lives in Soulard and was hiding/celebrating in their own home or was a hallucination. And then she'll barf.
• And finally, Battlehawks (ka-kaw) fans. I attribute this to the pent-up impotent white man rage of betrayed Rams fans who finally had a testosterone-affirming sport to watch at The Dome again. And I was all for the Battlehawks (ka-kaw). But god damn, every single Battlehawks (ka-kaw) fan I drove was a raging boner. The XFL is dead. Long live the XFL.

You were probably expecting me to say I don't like driving on New Year's Eve, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, or the night before Thanksgiving. Honestly, I don't mind those nights at all. Sure, they can bring out the douchebags, but they're nothing compared to the other negative examples listed above.

Lies

June 21, 2021

3:46 p.m.

Passengers lie.

"I'm not going to throw up."

Those words have been uttered - or, more accurately, slurred - by every person who has ever puked in, on, or near my car.

"I'll tip you in the app."

Usually followed by a wink and/or a cocky gesture (think finger guns), this passenger has no intention whatsoever of leaving their driver a tip. It has been my experience that of all the people who have said this to me, maybe five percent actually do end up tipping me in the app. And even that might be generous. They're overcompensating because they think you're on to them (you already were) and are afraid you're going to give them a bad rating for not tipping (it's better not to say anything, honestly.) If you're a jerk, I already know you're not tipping, and there's no need to make a big production of it. 

There are also the non-verbal lies. The cute 20-something who tries to flirt her way into getting you to squeeze seven people into a vehicle that can only hold four. I'm 41, fat, have sleep apnea, and drive a Kia Soul base model. That's the car with the hamsters in the commercials. You have no interest in me - and I have no interest in you, because any amorous activity that would happen between us would literally kill me.

I've actually been offered - and turned down - sexual intercourse in exchange for rides. I may be lonely, but I'm not stupid.

But I digress. There's a new lie that is becoming more and more rampant, and there's no way to tell what percentage of people are being truthful.

"I'm vaccinated."

There is no vaccine passport. No vaccination ID, unless you carry your card with you. I keep an image of mine on my phone, but that's it. Besides, as soon as people started getting vaccination cards, other, less scrupulous people realized there would be anti-maskers and conspiracy theorists out there who would pay money for fake vaccination cards, and began selling them online. So no, I'm sorry, I am skeptical of people who tell me they are vaccinated.

Exempt

June 20, 2021 10:34 p.m.

I pulled up to the small ranch-style house in south county for what my app told me was a scheduled pickup. After a couple minutes, a bald man in cut-off shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt emerged, Bud Light in one hand, smartphone in another. 

“Are you [name]?” I asked?

He confirmed that he was.

“Do you have a mask?” I asked, as he was not wearing one, and we are 16 months into this global pandemic. And, even though masks are no longer required in many indoor spaces for those who are vaccinated, the CDC has not yet removed the recommendation for masks on public transportation. As a result, Uber and Lyft still require both drivers and passengers to remain masked during rides. 

“No,” he said. I grabbed one of the disposable masks I keep with me and handed it to him.

“No,” he said again. “I apologize, but I’m exempt. I have a letter from my doctor. I have a thing in my throat.”

“So you will not wear a mask?” I asked.

“I am exempt,” he said, even though that’s not actually a thing.

“I’m sorry, I can’t take you,” I said, as I rolled up my windows and drove away.

He would need to find another ride to the smoke-filled casino - yes, that was his actual destination.

This. This is why we’re still dealing with COVID-19 and its variants. This is why Missouri is currently leading the nation in new cases.

This is also why I don’t trust people who get in my car and say “it’s okay, I’m vaccinated.” That statement is as believable as the drunk 21 year old slurring “I won’t throw up” before puking in my car, or “I’ll tip you in the app” by the people who don’t seem to realize I can see exactly who tipped me and what amount.

It’s actually been a few months since I’ve had a passenger who outright refused to wear a mask. It’s always a man. A middle-aged white man. I’m a middle-aged white man. Are they surprised that someone in their demographic isn’t sympathetic?

I wouldn’t know I don’t stick around to find out.

Juneteenth

June 19, 2021 10:37 p.m.

Today is Juneteenth. I just saw this post from a year ago, and it seemed like a fitting reflection, given that Juneteenth is now a federal holiday. It’s a short post, but I still feel the same way:

June 20, 2020
5:17 p.m.

I want to point out that the best, most honest conversations I've had about race, equality, politics, and police brutality have been with my northside uber passengers.

It’s not likely any of my passengers will ever see this, but thank you for sharing your truth with me, and giving me an opportunity to listen and learn.

As a person who experiences privilege because of my race and gender, if I want to be an ally, it is my responsibility to let those who have been marginalized take the lead, and to open my ears, my heart, and my mind to the realities they share with me. 

Additionally, it isn’t the responsibility of someone else to educate me about their hardships. That being said, I don’t actively seek out these conversations… but if they come up organically, I’ll participate. 

Of course, I’m still not sure I’m doing allyship correctly - but I’m trying my best.