Turtle

December 26, 2020 11:40 p.m.

File this one under N for "Not tonight, Satan."

I received a ride request from a house behind the QT at Gravois and Weber. There was some sort of party going on, and the wife of the person who had requested the ride was waiting out front. I pulled up, confirmed the rider's name. She got in and said her husband would be out shortly.

A few seconds later, several people walked out the front door of the house - a woman, followed by two men. The lady in my back seat absolutely freaked out on the second man out the door, who happened to be her husband.

Apparently he had insulted her, as well as the sanctity of their matrimony, by exiting the house behind another woman.

I'm still trying to understand how that one works. I've run several calculations and drawn up some diagrams and just can't figure out what set her off... But there she was, yelling and screaming at her husband from my back seat, calling him... lots of creative names... none of which are suitable for publication. While doing this, she assumed a sort of attack-turtle position on her back and began kicking at her intoxicated and remarkably composed husband through the open door with her high-heeled boots.

That's when I told her to get out, canceled the ride, and drove off.

While the amateur psychologist in me would love to know what the issue was, I do not have the patience for that kind of nonsense...