Walgreens

 October 7, 2020

12:49 a.m.

Greg of Kirkwood, you and your wife/girlfriend are no longer welcome in my car.

Who is Greg from Kirkwood? He's the guy who requested an Uber ride from Creve Coeur to his house in Kirkwood for himself and his female companion tonight at 11:47 p.m. I kicked them out of my car in the parking lot of the Walgreens in Kirkwood about 15 minutes later.

Actually, Greg was pretty chill. It was the lady who was the problem. It was the lady who caused me to choose a drop-off location with a Kirkwood police car sitting in front of it in case she got rowdy. Greg got out, no questions asked, as if this had happened before.

You see, I asked them to wear masks and the wife/girlfriend complained about it the entire time... except when she and Greg were drunkenly making out in the back seat. If I can hear your tongues smacking, you're not wearing masks. She also insisted on being able to drink from her to-go sippy cup of booze that she brought with her, because, you know, you can't fit a straw behind a mask. You just can't.

To the lady, yes, you are correct - I also checked, and this is indeed America. However, Uber is a private company with rules - one of which is that all drivers and passengers must wear masks at all times. Now, I can't control what rules other drivers follow, but in my car, masks are mandatory.

I didn't kick you out because we have "different opinions" as your lady friend claimed. I kicked you out because you were being disrespectful, bordering on belligerent. And as an independent contractor of that company, and as the owner of the vehicle I was driving, I can choose to end the ride if I no longer want you in my car because you are being disrespectful. And demanding that I turn around and look at you to prove that you're wearing a mask (finally) while I'm driving down Kirkwood Road is not only disrespectful, but unsafe.

It was a 17 minute ride. You couldn't just sit down, shut up, and wear a mask for 17 minutes. Before the ride even started, I asked if wearing masks was going to be an issue, and offered to find you another ride. That was my mistake - I should have canceled right then and there.

I hope you're still waiting for a ride at Walgreens.

Snow

August 2, 2020 10:19 a.m.

One of my Uber passengers last night rated me two stars, saying my vehicle was in poor condition.

My guess is that it was the guy I picked up from Diamond Cabaret in Sauget whose primary complaint about the condition of my vehicle was that it did not have any cocaine.

Gamer

August 1, 2020 8:30 p.m.

I picked a couple up at a bar in Dupo, Illinois. They were wearing masks like good, considerate people, and I couldn't really tell their age, but they looked like they were maybe the same age as me. They got in the back seat.

The destination was about half an hour away. The husband and I started talking a bit, while the wife began to nod off. The subject of video games came up. We talked about the first systems we had ever played - for both of us it was the Atari.

He went on to tell me about a game he played - I don't recall the name, and he may not have mentioned it - but it was pretty difficult, and he spent five months getting to a certain point where he was about to beat it. Then his five year old son went and erased his save file. Just like that, all his progress was gone.

His wife, who had been half-asleep, perked up and said, angrily, "nobody cares about that stupid story or your stupid game!"

"I'm telling our Uber driver a story, babe!" he protested. "He plays games! He gets it!"

We were maybe five minutes into the trip at this point. They argued back and forth for nearly the rest of the ride about this story he was telling about their five year old deleting a save file - him arguing that it was, indeed, a tragedy, and her arguing that he should just get over it.

Finally, as we reached their exit on the highway, the wife said to me, "oh, sir, did my husband mention that our son is now 25 years old and that he's been telling this fucking story for 20 years?"